Sometimes it’s nice to just sit back and have a good laugh, am I right? Well, as you know, I am a huge fan of number crunching and strategizing. I thought it would be fun to take a break for a moment and just have a giggle. What? Giggles can be manly…you know, like a deep, rolling, mountain shaking giggle…Ok, forget I said anything about that. Forgotten? Good. So here are the top four things I love about being melee. Why only four? What? Are you saying four isn’t enough for you? Why you ungrateful son of…er um…excuse me…what I meant to say is it’s because I like even numbers.
4. The Run Down
There’s something very enjoyable about being able to get your move on as a melee. You need to exercise those legs too you know. Otherwise you might end up like one of those crazy mutant arm wrestlers with only upper body strength. Don’t get me wrong, while the giant arms/tiny legs look is awesome for comedic value, the whole falling over and not being able to get up because you’re so top-heavy can be a real detriment to your DPS.
Enter The Run Down. A little leg exercise of those of us who only seem to know stand-and-stab. Whether it’s running after those adds that just spawned (why should the range have all the fun just because they don’t have to do anything but turn slightly to deal with them?) or chasing after the tank as he kites the big guy (or gal) all around the various hazards of the environment (don’t forget to spin him around every now and then, us melee LOVE to cause parry haste) there’s a real joy in moving around as melee.
3. The Hit Box
Ah, the hit box. This is what us melee DPS live for. For those of you that don’t know, the hit box is the area around the mob in which you can stand to strike it from melee range. One of the great things about it, is that it is different for every mob! The absolute best thing about it, is that it generally makes no sense whatsoever. Sometimes you’re standing so far out that there is no chance you’d even be close to hitting the big nasty, but there you are, just swinging away. Other times you swear you could reach out and give them a big hug (they all really need one anyways) but you are still treated to the pleasant “I’m out of range” message (I how I love to hear that).
It’s the mystery and the surprise that make it so fun. You never know what you’re gonna get! A very wise man once said that I believe…what was it exactly? Something about chocolate? Damn…now I want some chocolate…
2. Whirlwind
Ah yes. Now this was a tough decision as this could have easily been the number one choice. Whirlwind…AKA, “OMG THE BEST AND MOST INTERESTING MECHANIC IN THE ENTIRE GAME”™. Whirlwind is a fabulous little mechanic that requires melee to get the hell out of dodge for a few seconds or face certain doom (and ridicule), afterward we generally enjoy a second or two to scratch our butts in preparation for returning to combat.
The best thing about this mechanic? It combines both of the previous two things mentioned. You get to do some near aimless running around AND you get to try and reset yourself inside the hit box!
I think my favorite thing about this mechanic is how usually there is a timer for the cooldown but not a timer for when the whirlwind will exactly start. Since you can’t usually safely get out of the whirlwind after it starts you get the chance to run out early and really spend some quality time wondering why your butt is so itchy all the damn time. Oh the joy!
1. The Awesome View – AKA Monster Butt
So what could possibly top Whirlwind? Why the view of course! No, not that show with the ladies talking about whatever it is that they talk about (stickers and glitter I believe), but the constant view of every melee…Monster Butt! (Side Note: I’ve been informed that these views are very similar, I’ll investigate further and get back to you).
Yes, as melee (dps) we will spend 95% of our time crammed firmly up a monsters backside, stab, stab, stabbing away. Apparently there’s a lot of very pretty things going on in an instance (the range rave about it, silly range) but not us melee. We get the absolute joy of up close and personal view of just how much detail Blizzard has put into the backside of that big and nasty boss. Let me tell you, there’s no finer view in the game (and the smell ain’t too shabby either). Rejoice my melee bretheren and sistern for we are the owners of the best view in the game.
Isn’t it just grand being melee?